From dating to dogging

I have a sudden ache for a puppy. Expensive, time consuming and as my mom said, "Like babies that never grow up." But here is my logic:
A. This ever-infant state will curb any baby hunger that may pop up in the future.
B. It will keep my already full hands busy- and distracted from the fact that I have a less than successful dating life.
C. I will have someone to cuddle me at night. :)

I decided if I used to money I have budgeted for babysitters (and other things I spend on that help make me more attractive to the opposite sex) on a dog, I could totally afford one! Haha...

Jasmine thrives on responsibility and Asia thrives on mimicking Jasmine, so I have no doubt they would fight over who picks up the poops.

Could totally work.

I have a very fairytale-esque picture of getting one by Christmas, purchasing a sweater for it and wrapping it in a box like the opening scene from Lady And The Tramp. My kids would be thrilled.

Alas, I am sure I will come to my senses shortly but in the mean time there is a chihuahua calling my name in an amimal shelter in Orem.

Rachel Devault Photography

Here is some work she's done for me. She makes me feel beautiful, I love her so :)

Da way you tall me baby.....

I sing Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am" to the kids when I tuck them in at night. Asia loves it, and sings with me. It's pretty much the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Angels are crying somewhere. I'll figure out how to load a video for you guys so you can all melt too.

I rite rill fast

If you see that I have misspelled a word or used the wrong one PLEASE let me know. I am educated, but seem to space out at times and not use my common sense. Rae, I know you see these errors. It you love me, speak up so I can correct them :)

Happy Halloween

I was lucky enough to have my babies for trick or treating this year. It was really fun, and only rained a little. People at the doors would look at them and say, "You're so cute!" To which Gavin would reply

"No, I dragon."

And he'd point at his hood to show them.

Jasmine was a snake, she's so cool! She has an amazing and complex personality that never ceases to amaze and amuse me. She'd rather look cool, realistic, and scary than pretty.

Asia was appropriately a princess. "Trit or treat!" Delicate little thing.

Adventures in online dating.

It's really my favorite thing, guys. Nobody looks like their photo. Terrible, mass emailed pick-up lines. Also most sites give you points for spending time online and with those points you can buy gifts for people. Like a picture of a rose, or a teddy bear! If any of the readers date online, please don't ever send a girl a "gift". It's the equivilant of going to the dollar store and picking something really special out for a first date. I spend most of my time on there skimming through profiles looking for one that doesn't make me throw up in my mouth.. And I have to admit, it doesn't happen a lot when you are looking for someone over 5'5". Why is that? Maybe all of the positive qualities are squashed down into a smaller package, so you get more of the good stuff...
Things to look out for:

Shirtless picture guy. If you look very closely there is usually a tattoo above their bellybutton that reads: I love me! And one night stands.

Too pretty guy. There is no good reason that an attractive, single, childless, job holding man should be on a website looking for a meaningful relationship. He's looking for quick cookie.

No picture guy. There is probably a good reason for it.

Slightly inappropriate flirting guy. He will quickly turn into very inappropriate flirting guy.

Way too many picture of himself with another girl guy. One or two with captions about his sister or mom is acceptable. But if all of his photos are with a girl way too hot for him there is a problem. 1. He's in love with a friend 2. He paid for her company 3. He's got a super close ex. You don't need any of these drama pools.

Can't spell guy. If he can't spell, how is he supposed to hold a job, help parent your children, hold a good job that pays enough for you to buy shoes anytime you need that pair of pumps in the window ontop of life's other expenses, and impress your family?!?! He can't.

Here is my favorite one today.

"your hot we shuld chat sumtime."

Specs: 34 years old
Profession- hotrods
Interests- fast cars, big trucks, powerfull engins

Profile: hi im looking for a beutifull girl ,i like long hair, sexy eyes a pritty face and a nice *** .i like real **** not fake, my x had fakes and bla,bla, bla.hahope that dident sound rude,im a say wut i think kinda guy.i like laughffing ,camping,swiming,boating.motor cycels ,driving fast hiking,snugeling,movies, ***,, ,,***,and siting around with a girl i like,just kicken it,

I don't think you miss much by me editing this. The rest of it is enough. VETO.

Babies

They are beautiful and wonderful. Rae seems to see them as I do and capture it. Hire her, she's amazing.

CRYSTAL

A few of you know that we had a brief but enjoyable addition to our family, Crystal. The spider. I wish I had taken a decent photo of her, (and I assure you I would have if I had known she would have passed so suddenly) but you will just have to use your imaginations.

I found her on my stairs (inside) and thought she was one of those giant spider Halloween rings, and literally gasped when I realized she was not. She was just a common house spider, on steroids, or who was very old. And probably wise. I called Andy and bribed him to come kill her and he opted to put her in a jar for the kids to harass for a day. I thought she was really disgusting and shrieked every time she walked around on her very long, gross spider legs. Legs pulled in she was about the size of a quarter. (Sick.)

The kids loved her so I let her stay for another day, and actually started to feed her. We have flies. I am clean, I really am, I don't know how they get in, but they do. And they end upstairs pounding against my window trying to get out. So, every afternoon on my way down the stairs, I'd snag one and put it in the jar. It was getting fascinating to watch Crystal eat. (Jasmine named her after a few days.) And soon she started to build a web, and I started to like her.

She was easy to please and interesting to watch. And when we came home from school one day she had an egg sack! I just assumed that she had some sort of man spider friend on the outside that she visited before we found her. But a week later, there was a second one. I decided she was a faker. Like one of those ladies that buys dolls that look like real babies and takes them out into public. :) She had a strange personality, but I liked her. And holla for single moms, you know. She was strong and fast and after she ate she would lounge over her kill proudly (or in a food coma) for an hour or so. And she was at least trying to raise babies on her own, right? She had made a cool tunnel to keep them in.

A few weeks later Andy was over and was startled by another larger spider on my entertainment center. (Is this a good time to ask for donations to get my house sprayed?) It was disturbingly large and fast. We decided to see how Crystal would like a roommate, Ella.

Not so much it appears. They sat across the room from each other always. I'm sure glaring at each other with all eight eyes. Ella may be bigger but she was in Crystal's house. It only took a few days before Ella looked not so good and Crystal loomed over her like she did her flies.....

I knew she would win. Unfortunately, the guilt of cannibalism got to her, and she became uninterested in her food and eventually passed. Peacefully it seemed. I was on an emotional roller coaster that day anyway, and when I tipped her jar and her spider legs dangled it nearly brought me to tears.

I got over it in a day and threw the jar away, haha :)

Thanks gross spider, for entertaining my family and giving us something to watch together that wasn't on t.v.

P.S. I had to look through a lot of pictures to find one that looked like her and it was really disturbing, I have the heebie jeebies now and any noise startles me. AND I think she was poisonous...