Adventures in online dating.

It's really my favorite thing, guys. Nobody looks like their photo. Terrible, mass emailed pick-up lines. Also most sites give you points for spending time online and with those points you can buy gifts for people. Like a picture of a rose, or a teddy bear! If any of the readers date online, please don't ever send a girl a "gift". It's the equivilant of going to the dollar store and picking something really special out for a first date. I spend most of my time on there skimming through profiles looking for one that doesn't make me throw up in my mouth.. And I have to admit, it doesn't happen a lot when you are looking for someone over 5'5". Why is that? Maybe all of the positive qualities are squashed down into a smaller package, so you get more of the good stuff...
Things to look out for:

Shirtless picture guy. If you look very closely there is usually a tattoo above their bellybutton that reads: I love me! And one night stands.

Too pretty guy. There is no good reason that an attractive, single, childless, job holding man should be on a website looking for a meaningful relationship. He's looking for quick cookie.

No picture guy. There is probably a good reason for it.

Slightly inappropriate flirting guy. He will quickly turn into very inappropriate flirting guy.

Way too many picture of himself with another girl guy. One or two with captions about his sister or mom is acceptable. But if all of his photos are with a girl way too hot for him there is a problem. 1. He's in love with a friend 2. He paid for her company 3. He's got a super close ex. You don't need any of these drama pools.

Can't spell guy. If he can't spell, how is he supposed to hold a job, help parent your children, hold a good job that pays enough for you to buy shoes anytime you need that pair of pumps in the window ontop of life's other expenses, and impress your family?!?! He can't.

Here is my favorite one today.

"your hot we shuld chat sumtime."

Specs: 34 years old
Profession- hotrods
Interests- fast cars, big trucks, powerfull engins

Profile: hi im looking for a beutifull girl ,i like long hair, sexy eyes a pritty face and a nice *** .i like real **** not fake, my x had fakes and bla,bla, bla.hahope that dident sound rude,im a say wut i think kinda guy.i like laughffing ,camping,swiming,boating.motor cycels ,driving fast hiking,snugeling,movies, ***,, ,,***,and siting around with a girl i like,just kicken it,

I don't think you miss much by me editing this. The rest of it is enough. VETO.